To Stand

I feel you reaching out for me calling me to come

To stand despite my brokeness and failure that leaves me numb

There are no illusions left for me,  I was sure I could never live this Christian life

But patiently you wait for me , to whisper my helplessness, to ever win the fight

So you can fill me with your spirit and guide my steps into the light

Knowing I no longer walk alone, because you live inside my heart

The sooner I submit myself to you, my fear and stress will soon depart

And your peace will be a salve upon my wounds and your truth my path to seek

Showing me  how you can raise me up, in times I feel so weak

And if I ever learn to live my life this way, I know I will never be alone

For you will thrive in my conquered heart and at last I will be home .

Advertisements

Revive me, O’Lord

Revive me, O’Lord according to

Your loving kindness , The sum

of Your word is truth, and every

one of Your righteous ordinances

is everlasting.

Psalm 119:159-160

Many things have changed since the last entry I posted. I have given up all but one client and have taken on a full-time job to help my husband Jim keep up with the bills that seem to be never-ending on the farm. I work at a call centre and the hours are grueling and getting use to shift work has been hard on me. That’s why it’s been such a long time since I have put pen to paper.

Since I talk for a living now, dealing with a tooth that has  absessed has been a little bit draining but it has given me some time off to rest and to write. When trials persist I turn to the Lord and  when I read this passage in scripture it reminded  me of God’s gifts and how he can work in the darkest of circumstance and pick me back up just when I thought I was down and out for good. “Revive me O’Lord according to Your loving kindness” that line made my mind’s eye recall all the people who the Lord had worked through to reach out  and touch my life. But the one who stands out the most is my husband Jim. I had for so many years prayed to God to send me that certain one who would love me like no other and I have no doubt in my mind that Jim is the perfect guy for me. Over the years we have had are shares of up’s and down’s but through life’s trials we have learned how to appreciate each other’s strengths and forgive each other’s weak spots. Learning about how God loves me has made me more aware of how much me husband love’s me and how much I see the Lord reside in my husband. I have always said to Jim that if we did not have the Lord there is no way our marriage would   have survived the things we have been through. Never was I so aware of this fact when I stumbled across an old journal I had in college. I had just broken up with a guy and I was heart-broken. Determined to never have that happen again I made a list of attributes I would look for in my perfect guy and I also gave a physical description of what he would look like and where we would live. Much time had passed and I had long forgotten that list by the time I had met Jim but the Lord had not forgotten that list and knowing how to give good gifts to his children he brought me Jim. When years later I stumbled upon that old journal and read the physical description of my perfect man it was as if I was looking straight at Jim and saying out loud he is tall with dark hair and a moustache, we live on a farm with  horses etc. (the only thing that did not match the list is we do not have a pond or a boat)  All his character traits like being honest , patient and a good sense of humor were one the list. When I wrote the list I remember being patient was very high up on the list because I am always forgetting my keys, my purse, where I parked the car etc. and it always drove my boyfriend at the time and some of my friends crazy. I remember being a little bit amazed when I read that journal  because that is one of the traits I admire most in my husband is his ability to be so patient with me and others. He never gets mad when he has to go back to the restaurant or church or friends houses because I have forgotten my purse, my keys and so on. I have no doubt that Jim was hand-picked by God to be my perfect match. To quote a famous movie ” He completes me”. but only because the good Lord designed him for me. I am so glad that the Lord made me wait for Mr. Right and not for Mr. right now. The Lord has reached out to me through my husband so many times and his touch on our lives has revived me through some of the toughest times I have ever faced.  When I put my trust in the Lord and ask him to reveal himself to me it is truly amazing when he shows me how much he was involved is my life right from the very beginning. It is a reflection of just how much he knows about me and how much he loves me, I have no doubt that the Lord’s word is truth and the things he ordains will stand as an everlasting testimony of his love and righteousness because he shows me how those words play out in my own life

I am giving it to the Lord

My body is flawed and not perfect

I am giving it to the Lord

Sometimes my thoughts are scattered and ineffective

I am giving it to the Lord

In some situations I feel scared and vulnerable when pushed outside my comfort zone

I am giving it to the Lord

My good intentions are occasionally misunderstood

I am giving it to the Lord

Some people can be cold and rude

I am giving it to the Lord

I am not perfect and make mistakes

I am giving it to the Lord

Sometimes I dislike the path the Lord has set before me and wish things were easier

I am giving it to the Lord

I do not love enough

I am giving it to the Lord

At times I can be hard headed and stubborn

I am giving it to the Lord

Sometimes I say the wrong things

I am giving it to the Lord

In every weakness that I give to the Lord he replaces it with his power and his strength to do the impossible so I surrender my burdens along with my praise and

I am giving to the Lord

I Hear your Voice

075

I love the way the Lord paints the sky

087

Another beautiful sunset sky looking up my road

008

I love how wild flowers pop up all over the farm even in the grass

012

I have no idea what this plant is but it blooms all summer and it completely covers a small hill at the side of my house

017

It is such a joy to be able to walk out and see the horses enjoying the 5 acre field in the back of our farm

027

I love this picture, with the sunray it reminds me how the Lord is blessing our day

081

The Lord has given us a bumper crop of apples this summer

080

I know this picture is a little dark but is shows the towering pines that surround our house

059

Rascal one of our barn cats on the lookout

089

Sorry this picture is a little dark it was taken early evening and I love looking out over the fields and seeing the different shades of green and gold from the wheat field and the pinky tones in the sky. I am so aware of how beautiful the country side is and I am so thankful that the Lord has placed us here

I Hear Your Voice

I hear Your voice when the winds roar through the tall pines

You wink at me through twinkling stars in the night skies your majesty on display till the end of time

My mornings begin with muted tones of orange and pinks as You paint for me the sunrise

Each one unique and special my own secret find

As I let the dogs out the dew is heavy and I watch my water-loving Newfoundland rub against the bushes enjoying nature’s shower

Reminding me how You provide for all Your creation great or small we can see your power

Around this time You sing to me

Through all the birds that surround this place wild and free

The clock moves on and I head toward the barn and I can see You waving to me in the wild flowers that sway to and fro

Later as I walk the field with my goats I am reminded of what a Great Sheppard You are  as the breeze wafts by gentle and slow

When one is lost You always take stock

Nothing is more important to You than your sheep, your flock.

And with gentle care You guide them back with a loving hand

No matter where they have been or what they have done throughout the land

You love has always been unconditional You are always ready to forgive

And I rejoice that Your mercies are made new every morning like the air we need to live

While watching my horses run the meadow kicking up their heels is such a joyous sight

I am in awe of Your imagination to create the animals we enjoy, it’s just another display of Your power and might.

And as I look out across the fields and see the patchwork display of greens, browns yellow and gold

I see You again in the land you created to give us bounty that’s untold

But as it is said in your word that If I or man ever failed to praise Your name

The very rocks would cry out to the heavens and praise You just the same

Jesus Walk Me Home

Sometimes I get so discouraged here on earth, living on this block

It’s times like this when I need to take a moment and just take stock

Despite the never-ending problems that I face day by day

I have a glorious Savior who understands what comes my way

When I feel defeated, scared, or hurt Jesus is the one I turn to in the night

I can pour out all my feelings and He knows just how to put things right

All I have to do is trust Him with all the details of my life

He knows the things I am right in and He knows what decisions cause me strife

I have a loving savior who loves me and knows how to save my life

He is my great protector, my Father and my Friend

He’s with me in the darkness, He walks me to the light, He’ll never leave me or forsake me is the message that he sends

If I make a mistake He forgives me that’s just the way He is

His Love is never-ending and He is patient to forgive

Jesus I am so happy that I know You and that I am not alone

You’ll be with me no matter what, until comes the ,day when you finally walk me home

The Hope I Have In You

Romans 12:12-rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer.

1 Thessalonians:5:8-But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation.

Hebrews:6:18-19 that by two immutable things in which it is impossible for
God to lie, we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us.19 This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast and which enters the Presence behind the veil

Who walks the wee hours of the morning with me when sleep is nothing but a fleeting illusion

Ready to bring in a new dawn where His mercies are made new and forgiveness is a forgone conclusion

Jesus your strength enables me to handle the pain for Your arms hold me up

And You breathe life into me as I sip from your cup

Not a servant but a friend I am to You, for you whisper my name

Saying I am your precious child and things will never be the same

It is Your hand that guides me onto the right path when I can’t find my way

It is Your love for me, that made you lay down your life for mine, a price a could not pay

Your promise, never to leave me or forsake me, echo’s forever in my mind

Your presence behind the veil, a refuge of protection, that continues for all time

Jesus You are faithful even when things seem to go all wrong and I feel misunderstood

Your always working on behalf of me to make all things workout  for my good

Jesus You are that miracle worker that takes away my sin and gives me new life

You make me lay down in peace that I don’t deserve and hear my prayers on high

No matter what happens in this life I know the hope I have in You

The promise of everlasting life in heaven and unbroken fellowship so true.