Faith

Lord you’ve told me a million times that I should never fear

Your always right beside me and You hold me oh so dear

In times when I can’t stand alone Your grace is what I need

To love me back to life again so I can still be free

Your love’s not based on my performance, You knew right from the start

That I could never earn a place from You, that would be worth my very heart

So many times the enemy tries to steal my faith away

By telling me that You’re not big enough to deal with the problems of today

So father please forgive me, when I forget just who You are

You’re the author of the universe and the one who made the stars

I do not walk by sight each day because I am trusting you to lead the way

to a future life, of peace filled hope, that can walk me through my darkest days

To Stand

I feel you reaching out for me calling me to come

To stand despite my brokeness and failure that leaves me numb

There are no illusions left for me,  I was sure I could never live this Christian life

But patiently you wait for me , to whisper my helplessness, to ever win the fight

So you can fill me with your spirit and guide my steps into the light

Knowing I no longer walk alone, because you live inside my heart

The sooner I submit myself to you, my fear and stress will soon depart

And your peace will be a salve upon my wounds and your truth my path to seek

Showing me  how you can raise me up, in times I feel so weak

And if I ever learn to live my life this way, I know I will never be alone

For you will thrive in my conquered heart and at last I will be home .

If Not For….

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Psalm 63:2 So I have looked for you in the sanctuary to see Your Power and Glory

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not for I am with you, Be not dismayed for I am your God

I will strengthen you, yes I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

James 1:2 My brethren count it all joy when you fall into various trials

If Not For….

If not for painful trials I endure, how would I know of Your great faithfulness

If not for all my failures, how could I know the depth of Your forgiveness

If not for Your death on a cross for me, how could I begin to understand Your mercy

towards my sinfulness

If not for your protective sanctuary, how could I ever begin to see Your glory

If not for my hard times, that you worked for my good, how could I ever tell your story

Of  a tender God who carried me, when my human strength  was spent

If not for a loving God, how could I bend my knees and tell You the things that I repent

If not for all the unpleasantness of life, how could I learn to trust You day by day

If not for the tender grace that You give to me, could I try to submit to You in all my ways

If not for all the many blessings You bestow to me, even though there is nothing I

 could ever do to deserve it

If not for Your very Presence, which brings me untold joy, how would I ever be free from evil’s darkest pit

Revive me, O’Lord

Revive me, O’Lord according to

Your loving kindness , The sum

of Your word is truth, and every

one of Your righteous ordinances

is everlasting.

Psalm 119:159-160

Many things have changed since the last entry I posted. I have given up all but one client and have taken on a full-time job to help my husband Jim keep up with the bills that seem to be never-ending on the farm. I work at a call centre and the hours are grueling and getting use to shift work has been hard on me. That’s why it’s been such a long time since I have put pen to paper.

Since I talk for a living now, dealing with a tooth that has  absessed has been a little bit draining but it has given me some time off to rest and to write. When trials persist I turn to the Lord and  when I read this passage in scripture it reminded  me of God’s gifts and how he can work in the darkest of circumstance and pick me back up just when I thought I was down and out for good. “Revive me O’Lord according to Your loving kindness” that line made my mind’s eye recall all the people who the Lord had worked through to reach out  and touch my life. But the one who stands out the most is my husband Jim. I had for so many years prayed to God to send me that certain one who would love me like no other and I have no doubt in my mind that Jim is the perfect guy for me. Over the years we have had are shares of up’s and down’s but through life’s trials we have learned how to appreciate each other’s strengths and forgive each other’s weak spots. Learning about how God loves me has made me more aware of how much me husband love’s me and how much I see the Lord reside in my husband. I have always said to Jim that if we did not have the Lord there is no way our marriage would   have survived the things we have been through. Never was I so aware of this fact when I stumbled across an old journal I had in college. I had just broken up with a guy and I was heart-broken. Determined to never have that happen again I made a list of attributes I would look for in my perfect guy and I also gave a physical description of what he would look like and where we would live. Much time had passed and I had long forgotten that list by the time I had met Jim but the Lord had not forgotten that list and knowing how to give good gifts to his children he brought me Jim. When years later I stumbled upon that old journal and read the physical description of my perfect man it was as if I was looking straight at Jim and saying out loud he is tall with dark hair and a moustache, we live on a farm with  horses etc. (the only thing that did not match the list is we do not have a pond or a boat)  All his character traits like being honest , patient and a good sense of humor were one the list. When I wrote the list I remember being patient was very high up on the list because I am always forgetting my keys, my purse, where I parked the car etc. and it always drove my boyfriend at the time and some of my friends crazy. I remember being a little bit amazed when I read that journal  because that is one of the traits I admire most in my husband is his ability to be so patient with me and others. He never gets mad when he has to go back to the restaurant or church or friends houses because I have forgotten my purse, my keys and so on. I have no doubt that Jim was hand-picked by God to be my perfect match. To quote a famous movie ” He completes me”. but only because the good Lord designed him for me. I am so glad that the Lord made me wait for Mr. Right and not for Mr. right now. The Lord has reached out to me through my husband so many times and his touch on our lives has revived me through some of the toughest times I have ever faced.  When I put my trust in the Lord and ask him to reveal himself to me it is truly amazing when he shows me how much he was involved is my life right from the very beginning. It is a reflection of just how much he knows about me and how much he loves me, I have no doubt that the Lord’s word is truth and the things he ordains will stand as an everlasting testimony of his love and righteousness because he shows me how those words play out in my own life

The Hope I Have In You

Romans 12:12-rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer.

1 Thessalonians:5:8-But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation.

Hebrews:6:18-19 that by two immutable things in which it is impossible for
God to lie, we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us.19 This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast and which enters the Presence behind the veil

Who walks the wee hours of the morning with me when sleep is nothing but a fleeting illusion

Ready to bring in a new dawn where His mercies are made new and forgiveness is a forgone conclusion

Jesus your strength enables me to handle the pain for Your arms hold me up

And You breathe life into me as I sip from your cup

Not a servant but a friend I am to You, for you whisper my name

Saying I am your precious child and things will never be the same

It is Your hand that guides me onto the right path when I can’t find my way

It is Your love for me, that made you lay down your life for mine, a price a could not pay

Your promise, never to leave me or forsake me, echo’s forever in my mind

Your presence behind the veil, a refuge of protection, that continues for all time

Jesus You are faithful even when things seem to go all wrong and I feel misunderstood

Your always working on behalf of me to make all things workout  for my good

Jesus You are that miracle worker that takes away my sin and gives me new life

You make me lay down in peace that I don’t deserve and hear my prayers on high

No matter what happens in this life I know the hope I have in You

The promise of everlasting life in heaven and unbroken fellowship so true.

A Heart Under Siege

Psalm 31:21

“Praise be to the Lord

For He showed me the wonders of his love

When I was in a city under siege.”

A Heart Under Siege

When I had no one You were there

When no one believed in me You always cared

When I was crippled You carried me

When I was blind You helped me see

Jesus, You set the captive free

Free from self loathing, free from regret

Free to be me without worry or frets

Always forgiving You showed the way

You broke up the boulders of shame and remorse day after day

Binding up wounds with Your love and Your grace

Finding strength in Your promises while seeking your face

Teaching me how to be only me

And not what others think I should be

For you have told me I am the work of your hands

It doesn’t matter if others don’t understand

The path that you want me to walk as you lead

All the while rescuing a heart under siege

The Gift of Love

Psalm 42:1-2

1 As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So my soul pants for You, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God;
When shall I come and appear before God?

Psalm 34:5

5 They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces will never be ashamed.

Philippians 2:15
15 so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world,

The Gift of Love

Here I am and You called to me on my sick-bed

Knowing that I could hardly take a breath full of anxiety and dread

Six times to the hospital and my lungs are still not fixed

A second virus shingles squeezes in and gives my body another kick

But in the midst of all of this there was so much pain upon my soul

For being the one to hold our family back and now no drug coverage, has dug a financial hole

It’s been three weeks and I still don’t know, when I can return to work

Sitting here feeling so useless, I felt like a failure and a jerk

But than You Lord called to me and talked me through my daily devotions

And I was so surprised to hear from You in the midst of all this emotional commotion

Now that I had the time You talked with me and explained how much You miss me

And how there could be joy in the midst of trials if I would bring those fears to Thee

You were tender when You pointed out were I had gotten way off track

How I let bitterness and anger misconstrue some crucial facts

I was seeing You as an angry father , a taskmaster I could not please

It seemed so impossible to be that perfect Christian, I tried so hard to be

So full of pride at my failing I avoided spending time with You

At one point I had started to think, this Christian walk was something I couldn’t do

As soon as I thought of  that my heart was full of shame

And You said my precious child I love you just the same

For all fall short everyone that is why you need me

To help guide you and protect you and give you the strength to see

Not with eyes that reflect this world but with spiritual eyes that see things differently

First you have to take on faith that My love for you will never end

That no matter how you sin I will be here to restore you and pick you up again

You are my little lamb that is walking by my side

But suddenly your chasing butterflies and you have wonder out just like the tide

I will always call you back, but little lamb you have to listen for my voice

And if your late on hearing it than you have to make a choice

To believe in me and understand I am a Lord of Love

And come running back no matter where you’ve been, with your eyes focused on Me above

I will always love you unconditionally in a way that you can never understand

That’s why my death at Calvary was done freely, to save every man

Not because man could ever do, something that was worthy of my gift You know

It was because I love them all regardless if they choose to acknowledge Me or if their friends or foes

I know you have walked through lots of trials and I am so happy you endured

But my little Lamb I need you to pay attention to my word

Try to do the best you can to follow where I lead with a heart that’s full of thanks and praise

And regardless of your circumstance I will fill your heart with joy and give you peace for the moment, even on the hardest days

Now for the first time ever, I know how much I’m loved by Jesus, the Awesome God of Love

And that feeling pushes out the anger and the bitterness and ushers in forgiveness that was undreamed of

Although I still am very week and my Lungs have  a ways to go, it so nice to know

That everyday You meet me here, You fill my heart with joy that over rides the pain I feel, because I finally know how much you love me so.

Your Faith Will Be Your Song

Ephesians 6:16

“above all, taking the shield of faith with which
you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of
the wicked one.”

1 John 1:5-7

This is the message which we have heard
from Him and declare to you, that God is light
and in Him is no darkness at all
6 If we say we have fellowship with Him,
and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice
the truth
7 But if walk in the light as He is in the light
we have fellowship with one another, and the
blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin

Isaiah 12:2

“Behold God is my salvation
I will trust and not be afraid
For Yah the Lord, is my strength
and song;
He has also become my salvation.

Your Faith Will be Your Song

Although I am under rainy skies and I can hear the thunder loudly  bellow

The Lord says hush my child trust and not be afraid, of things that linger in the shadows

For while you walk in the light with Me, you are safe and sound

It’s when you wander far from Me, that trouble soon abounds

Your best defense of defeating fear, is to bring it to My feet

Than with my word you will speak to it and chase away defeat

Why do you worry so about the things that kill the body

For tonight could claim your very soul, tell me  what would you embody

Would you be going to paradise full of My Glory and My Grace

Or would you be an empty shell that is not called to a better place

You see the safest place for you, is to stay close to Me

Learn My ways and obey My commands and than you will be free

And if the devil should attack your shield of faith you should find it strong

Because of all you learned from Me your faith will be your song

Pain management

Pray continuously                                                                                                                                                   sk for  everything than believe
I ntercession is what Jesus does on our behalf  let Him bridge your pain
N othing is impossible with God trust Him

M ake room for healing learn to forgive
A lways remember Jesus loves you
N ever forget that somewhere people are fighting bigger battles
A ppreciate the small victories and celebrate them
G ods beauty is everywhere look for it in everything and everybody
E very tear that’s shed is seen by God talk to him even if your angry
M ake the effort to help someone else that’s hurting
E veryday should be celebrated, find something to be positive about
N ever give up God will give you strength and joy for each day
T ell someone about Jesus so they too can be embraced by a loving savior