It’s Spring Again

I woke up this morning in a bad place completely overwhelmed with what seems like trial after trial for the last eight years. It seems like I just get over one trial and I start to think okay we’ll(me and my husband Jim) be okay and boom another one hits. The latest financial burden is our septic system has to be replaced which will cost thousands of dollars. This was pretty hard news given that last summer we had to drill a new well and replace the roof. We just don’t have anymore money and we will have to put a stop payment on our mortgage in order to fix the septic system. So we have stepped out in courage and prayer and hope against hope that I can pick up some extra work. Well that was the plan untill yesterday when I began the drive to Keswick to start my part time job cleanning at KCC. When I started out I noticed the air was heavy and humid but by the time I arrived I was having trouble breathing. I thought my breathing would get better inside the building it actually got worse and it was hard to just walk down the hallways without getting dizzy let alone clean. I had to phone my husband to come and help me get home. This morning I was so discouraged.On a daily basis  I have to fight through the pain of chron’s disease,Kidney stones, fibromyalgia and some weird inflamatory arthritis condition no one can seem to diagnose and my breathing is already compromised due to asthma but now the pollution and humid air is making it so hard to breath its almost impossible to work. So what do we do now who knows. But in the thick of feeling sorry for myself a passage from Job just kept running through my head. It ‘s at the part where Job has lost everything and is struck with boils and his wife says curse God and die. And it was Job’s reply that stuckout in my mind its Job chp 2 vs 10 “Shall we indeed accept good from God and shall we not accept adversity?” If we have the courage and faith to accept blessings from God should we not also accept the hardship that God allows in our life even if we don’t understand why he has allowed it. Even though I feel that I do not have much strength left I will use what I do have to cling to Christ’s promise that if we seek first the Kingdom of God and his rightousness despite hardship and loss that he will continue to provide for us.

It’s Spring Again

It was spring 8 years ago when I stepped  into this place

Eager anticipation I was ready to run this race

Armed with the knowledge of my Savior and his love for me

I went out into the world to set the lonely captives free

But what I didn’t see is what your love would be

What I never dreamed is what you would let me see

That the God I saw, I did not know at all

An image in my mind, not who you are at all, helped me fall

You see I thought I had it made, when you were on my side

I would never hurt again,  my days of pain would be left behind

If I had only seen, what you had in store for me, would I change my mind

but now it’s spring again can I start once more

Armed with what I’ve learned from where I’ve been before

Your a God of second chances, will you grant to me, a chance to be reborn

Take the scales off these eyes and help me see

the road I need to take, to be all I can be

To live my life for you, please grant me the courage to, see it through

Help me to follow you, were I don’t want to go, so I can be like you

Lord please give me faith, so I can show God’s grace

To those that are broken, to the lost, to those that hate my face

In your strength help my life reflect, the beauty of Gods grace

Please have mercy Lord and hear my plea

and your humble servent I will forever be


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